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This new release will be the first in a series of releases taking place every two/three months. I produced an album’s worth of new songs over the summer and beat myself up about how/when I was going to release it. I came up with the plan that I’d release the album gradually, so this first single, “Carried Away,” will be track 1 on the album when it’s all finally revealed.
Before I get into it, I want to give a very special thanks to This Hollow Machine for giving me the remix of Faith & Trust that’ll appear on this release (expect cool remixes and bonus tracks to appear on most of these releases).
So, some background about this song, “Carried Away.”
I have a lot of time to work on music and go to shows and play out during the summer because I worked for a school the rest of the year. This last summer, in particular, I found myself infatuated with someone. I’d already had some feelings for this person for a while, but those feelings became super amplified in a way that frightened me.
You might be asking, “Thomas, why would you let those feelings frighten you?” Well, EVEN IF it were a relationship that made any kind of sense, it definitely didn’t make any sense right now. I’d just gotten out of an incredibly complicated relationship (we weren’t married, but we’d been together for 7 years and own a house together; she was pregnant when we met and her son considers me dad and vice-versa) and I’d made a promise to myself to stay single until I’d accomplished some very important things.
I hadn’t accomplished most of those things by the time these feelings crept up and there are still a couple more I need to cross off the list, but to call the cognitive dissonance I was feeling “intense” would’ve been an understatement. I felt sick.
I ended up telling the person exactly how I felt and I still don’t know if that was a good idea or not. Most days it doesn’t feel like it, but I did, and I wrote this song about it. In many ways I wrote this song for that person and to memorialize how important they are to me, but I think that, at the end of the day, I mostly wrote this song for me because I needed to be honest with myself.
I’d spent the last several years trying to put a cap on my feelings; in my song “The Danse” I have a line about how “I’ve made a lifestyle out of denying myself what I want.” I’d gotten so incredibly used to feeling ashamed for feeling any hint of passion or desire towards people and, I know now, that’s not a good state for me to be in.
The refrain of this new song is “I got carried away,” but, while I definitely felt that at the time I wrote it, I think I’m starting to become okay with the fact that I have these feeling. I think I’ll be okay whether they’re reciprocated or not and, honestly, I probably only felt so carried away because of how much I struggled against the tide.
The next release will come in December and be called “Is He Alive?”
Is he, though?
Stay tuned to find out.