This time last year I was sick with inspiration and creating “Waves” in a furious urgency. Everyday was filled with the unquestioned conviction that I would write, or record, or mix, another song. One week, I went four straight days writing or programming one song at night, recording lyrics the next morning, and mixing the song during the rest of the day. It was a creatively frantic and physically unhealthy time, but I was making the album I knew I’d needed to make since I was 16 years old and first had to deal with the unsolicited demon of depression and the awareness of the world’s suffering. In a strange way, expelling my hopelessness and guilt, I was making myself, if not quite happy, proud.
Life, for me, meanders more often than it charges forward and shortly after releasing “Waves” the economic realities that had given me such opportunity and privilege to explore my own emotional landscape were, for the first time in my life, genuinely threatening to remove themselves. I tried making things work with a local magazine but it seemed like personal conflicts and the monetary unreality of the venture were leading to less-than nowhere. That path was not leading towards a remotely stable future.
Around this time, Zeke, my sort-of-adopted-son, was approaching the age of three and Rebekah was about to begin a welding apprenticeship. As beneficial as our prior unemployment had been for Zeke’s mental development, it was becoming obvious that providing him with a day-care or preschool environment where he could interact with his peers would be the best thing for him, but doing so takes money and Rebekah (my partner) would still only be making but so much. If I wasn’t supporting myself, I was going to become a drain. I needed a day-job.
I’m in a very different place this year than I was last year. I managed to use my genuine knowledge and confidence in the audio-visual field to land a job as a production technician. Instead of going to bed at 4:30 in the morning after long nights of song-writing, I’m showing up at work and changing microphone batteries for a local news station at 4:30 in the morning.
Hopelessness is not my motivating force anymore, but I’m still incredibly proud of the experience I crafted with “Waves.” With long overdue excitement and pride, I’m officially releasing a short-run of Waves on CD. The CD is a full-color glossy disc and comes with an 8-panel glossy booklet with lyrics and liner notes. I’ll be assembling these together by hand on a made-to-order basis.
You can order one at https://thepurgeva.bandcamp.com/album/waves or shoot me a line.
The Purge, like my life, is a work in progress.